Hello Dave
A robot used to steal roof tiles but now he’s starting over with a clean slate. He luckily never got caught though as he always had a cast iron alibi.
We’ll Have Nun of That!
I met a vicar going to a fancy dress party. It was a blessing in disguise.
Yes Minister
I don’t like singing in church. It’s an ac-choir-ed taste.
A Jab Well Done
I thought I’d try acupuncture but I felt a bit of a prick. May take a stab in the dark and try it with my eyes closed.
It’s the Bullseye
I was going to play darts but mine were so blunt I didn’t see the point.
Honey Buziness
I met a yellow and black insect who made the best honey ever but didn’t like to talk about it. He was a humble bee.
Movie Plots
The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong. The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge. Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works. The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet. From the Twitter feed #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
Work It Out
Jokes about unemployment just don’t work.
Thumbs Up
Learn sign language, it’s pretty handy.
A Bad Date
I got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off. I thought my days were numbered. I stole one once too and got 12 months.